


The Trap of Caring

by alocalband



Series: OMGCP Tumblr Ficlets [12]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alocalband/pseuds/alocalband
Summary: “I don’t…notlike you,” Dex hedges, cringing at his own awkwardness.Nursey does lift his head up at that, raising a single disbelieving eyebrow along with it. “Coulda fooled me, bro.”





	The Trap of Caring

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Tumblr [here.](http://alocalband.tumblr.com/post/171731929285/19-is-made-for-nurseydex)

Not that Dex is complaining, but the complete radio silence from Nursey all summer doesn’t exactly bode well for their new living arrangements come fall.

To be fair, it’s not like Dex reaches out to him either. But the fact that Nursey’s instagram goes quiet, and he hasn’t even poked his head into the group chat since May, is… suspicious.

Not _worrying_. Of course Dex isn’t actually _concerned_ about the guy. It’s just weird is all. It’s just… un-Nursey-like.

But Dex refuses to ask Chowder or anyone else on the team about it, because Dex _doesn’t care_. Just because they have to be roommates now as well as defense partners doesn’t mean he’s going to fall into the trap of caring about Nursey.

And it is a trap. Because Dex knows, he just _knows_ , that once he falls into it, it would be far too easy to _keep_ falling.

All the same, he releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he reaches their shared room for the first time since getting back to Samwell and there Derek Nurse is, safe and sound and still just as unfairly beautiful as ever.

It’s a genuine struggle not to let his expression advertise his relief, but Dex puts up a good show. “Oh. You’re still alive.“ His usual dry monotone saves him.

Nursey doesn’t even look up from the book he’s skimming, sitting in the middle of the floor and surrounded by open boxes of more books. “Don’t sound so disappointed. I might think you don’t like me.“ The sarcasm drips, ugly and biting, and it’s entirely Dex’s fault that it’s there.

He needs to fix this.

“I don’t… _not_ like you,” Dex hedges, cringing at his own awkwardness.

Nursey does lift his head up at that, raising a single disbelieving eyebrow along with it. “Coulda fooled me, bro.”

Dex draws in a deep, fortifying breath. He’s been mentally preparing himself for this moment all summer, but apologies have never come easy to him.

This is important, though. He knows it is. His own discomfort be damned.

“Listen, I should– I mean.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry about how I acted at the end of last year. I should have said so as soon as it happened, but I got in my head about it and it took awhile for me to even realize how things might look from the outside. How– how you might interpret it.”

“What’s to interpret? You can’t stand me and vice versa. Your little meltdown was just one more reminder of that fact.”

“Yeah, but–”

“Poindexter, it’s chill. I don’t care.” Except that he kinda looks like he does, underneath the cool mask and the carefully even tone of voice.

Which probably means that Dex isn’t doing this right, so he takes in another deep breath and tries again. “I am sorry, though. I don’t actually _hate_ you. You’re my teammate. More than that, you’re my defense partner, and now my roommate, and I don’t want you to feel like you’ve been paired up with someone who would knowingly try to hurt you. That’s decidedly _not_ ‘chill,’ alright? So, I’m sorry.”

Alright, so maybe Dex does _care_ about Derek Nurse. A little. A very little, miniscule amount hardly worth mentioning.

Lying to himself about this is basically the only thing keeping the feeling from getting out of control.

Nursey studies him with narrowed eyes for a long moment, while Dex feels particularly exposed just standing there and suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands.

“Yeah. Alright,” Nursey finally says. It’s spoken warily, still half-disbelieving, but better than an outright dismissal, so Dex will take it.

Only, well, Nursey still doesn’t look _happy_ about the situation. He’s still holding his shoulders a little too tensely, the way he started doing last year after the dibs flip whenever he had to share space with Dex.

Dex swallows. “I was a dick, and you didn’t deserve it. I get that now.”

“Whatever. You’ve done your duty, Dexy. Apology fucking accepted. You can unclench now.”

“Okay. It’s just. Me being an asshole, that’s not… Um. That’s not why you’ve been MIA, is it?”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. I lost my phone and figured it was a good excuse for a social media break.”

“Oh.”

“I skyped with C on my laptop all the time. Did he never mention it?”

“Um. No.”

Nursey snorts. “Whatever. Like you care. I bet you didn’t even notice I was incommunicado until you suddenly remembered you had to come back and share a room with me.”

But Dex _did_ notice. He’s been doing nothing _but_ noticing for the last couple months. All the while trying to convince himself that he’s not actually worried, even as he has to talk himself out of explicitly asking Chowder about Nursey _several times a day_.

God, his caring is apparently _already_ out of control, isn’t it? His attempts to pretend he still hates Nursey are just delaying the inevitable.

He’s already falling. Has been for longer than he wants to think about. And he’s going to keep falling no matter what lies he tells himself, or what token protests he puts up.

Dex sighs heavily, and goes to sit on the floor beside Nursey. “I care,” he says. “I know I’m bad at showing it, but I do care.”

Nursey’s eyes widen as he regards Dex like he’s never seen him before. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with the emotionally stunted ginger I love to torment?”

“Still ginger, still emotionally stunted.” Dex shrugs, and bites back a smile. “But I’m willing to work on at least one of those.”

This startles a laugh out of Nursey that forces Dex’s smile to finally reveal itself. He can feel cheeks start to heat with a blush at just how happy hearing that laughter makes him, though he doesn’t want to dwell on why. Maybe down the road he’ll analyze the fact that his heart rate speeds up the moment Nursey locks his shining hazel eyes on Dex’s, but not yet.

“Alright, man, I like the sound of that. You wanna get started on this new chapter of your personal development by helping me unpack?”

“Sure,” Dex nods and reaches for a box of books. “But I’m arranging them alphabetically by author, _not_ by color scheme.”

Nursey huffs, but he looks amused more than anything. Possibly even a little fond. “You are the youngest grumpy old man I have ever met, Poindexter.”

“You shoulda seen me as a seven-year-old.”

Nursey laughs again, his amusement filling the room like sunshine that Dex wants to bask in all day long. Dex’s blush goes all the darker at being the cause of it. But he keeps his eyes on the books he’s sorting and he powers through by focusing on titles and author names and _not_ on the way Nursey shifts a little closer to help him, pressed together now shoulder to shoulder.

They continue unpacking in companionable silence, their bodies moving around each other like they’ve been caught in the other’s orbit, never getting very far away before being pulled right back. They’ve been doing this dance for years, but Dex has always fought against it, has always pulled away or thrown up defenses, telling himself the entire time that he doesn’t want or deserve to fall into the oh so appealing trap of loving and caring about Derek Nurse.

This time, he doesn’t pull away. This time, he lets himself fall.


End file.
